In memory of my dad, Kirk Durling

Hello,

I am writing to share my family's story about our father's battle and

loss to pancreatic cancer.

In June of 2010, my family lost my mother to liver cancer. It was a 4 month illness after diagnosis and we cared for her at home until about a week before she died. She passed away at the age of 56. My father was left behind, to raise his two grand children, (my older brother's) who my parents had been caring for since they were 3 years old and 3 months old.

In my family there is me, the middle daughter, my older brother and my younger sister. The loss of my mother was devastating but we have always been close and we banned together and tried to go on. My father carried on, worked, raised the children and still worried about us, his grown children.

Dad finally got himself a new four wheeler and was trying to enjoy his few days off from his job of almost 33 years. My father was a hard worker, a loving father and a loving husband. I love my father with all my heart and he is the strongest man I have ever known.

About 6 months after Mom passed away, my father started getting pain in his abdomen...and having trouble keeping food down on and off. But he continued to work. Finally, he was getting sick every time he ate, and could not keep food down at all. This was all within a matter of maybe 2 weeks. After many trops to doctors he was diagnosed at first with indigestion. Or a hernia.

Anyway, after more problems he was put in the hospital and he was told he had a blockage in his bile duct, not sure what it was and so they put in a stent and they did tests. He suffered greatly at this time. 

After sometime, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and the tumor was closing off part of his stomach. He was given the option of chemo and radiation and he of course tried it. They told us if it shrunk they would try to operate. In the end, the treatments made him so sick. And he lost probably 100 lbs ( he had been al arge man to begin with) I had never seen my father so thin. Finally we were called in and told they would no longer give him treatment because it was growing. We were put over to the palliative care tema. This all happened within 3 months maybe. I was 8 months pregnant at the time and felt helpless.

My sister moved in with dad to help with the children and I would come over every day and eve to care for him, as I am a CCA and the only family member he would allow to do his personal care. The tumor caused my father to lose the use of his right arm which was very hard for him. There is not enough room on the page for me to express how he suffered and how this great and wonder ful man, withered away. We had some many scares and hospital trips. From bowel blleds and passing out, to unresponsive spells and sweat out breaks. My sister was on her last nerve from the ordeal, but she soldiered on. She would have done anything for dad to keep him home as long as possible.

I will say the doctors in Halifax and the VON were wonderful and helped us, and they did their best. I have no complaints on those topics. 

When my father became too ill to stay home with my sister, he was placed in hospital. At this point he was not very talkative and not eating much at all. I know he was suffereing from a bed sore, but taht was a losing battle with his body in such bad shape and he was not taking in any nourishment. In March 2011, my father was in the hospital and I was also in on monitoring for high blood pressure from stress and they were worried about the baby. He passed away with my sister, me and our uncle at his side.

He was in the hospital maybe 2 weeks and the whole illness lasted 4 months, just like our mother. Within 9 months I had lost both my parents to cancers we hardly knw a thing about. This cancer is deadly. It is a true silent killer. We had no idea until it was too late how sick he was. It east away at you and leaves barely a shell of the person that once was. It is very hard to watch a loved one die from this cancer. It will be one year since he died next month. I wish there was more support and money for research. Every type of cancer needs a cure, but the cancers that are killing our loved ones with mere weeks or months need a cure NOW. 

My father was 57 when he died. I cannot express everything I meant to when I wrote this, and it's hard to put every detail down. I just hope we find a cure someday soon so more families can stay together with the ones they love.

Thank you.

-Karen Schofield.

Im memory of my dad, Kirk Norwood Durling (May 7, 1953 - March 16, 2011)