My Beautiful Mom ~ Blanche Roy

This is my beautiful mom, Blanche Roy. She was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in August 2010. She had come to visit me for a few days and was looking after my son, her grandson while at was at work. When she got here, I noticed that she had lost weight and her color was grey. My mom just lived an hour and a half away from me and she visited me frequently. She had been complaining of some stomach trouble off and on over the period of about 1 year. Me being a nurse, I started the process of elimination and the symptoms she was describing to me were indicative of gallbladder trouble. Never in a million years did I ever think she had cancer. I guess I didn't want to think that way. Unfortunately, during her visit, she called me at work and told me that I needed to come home right away because she was very sick. I told her to hang up and call 911. I was hysterical! I left work and met her at the hospital where she was laying on a stretcher in the hallway. She was very weak, but her pain had subsided. Blood work and an ultrasound later revealed that she had stage 4 metastatic Pancreatic cancer. They told us that it looked like it started at the head of the pancreas and had spread to her bile duct, liver and lungs. When the doctor gave us the terrible news, I cried and my mom was in shock and she didn't even react. The next day she went back home and made an appointment to see her Doctor. She asked me to go to the appointment with her so my son and I went to her place the day before. When I got there, she was very jaundiced and very weak. Needless to say, I called one of my brothers and we took her to the hospital where they admitted her right away. They ran some tests and decided they needed to do an ERCP. They needed to insert a stent into her bile duct which was completely blocked. We were scared, but we knew it needed to be done. She stayed in the hospital for the week and was discharged home. It was a terrible week for her, she endured a lot of pain and nausea. The stent worked and she went home at the end of the week.

Over the next few months I went back and forth to her place to see her and help her around the apartment. She was being followed by an Extra Mural nurse, but her health was failing quickly and she was admitted again at the end of September for a few weeks because she was dehydrated from being unable to eat or drink very much. My brothers and I decided it was best to move her out of her apartment and in with my brother, because it wasn’t safe to be alone anymore. She agreed and they moved her while she was still in the hospital. I took her out on a day pass so she could see her new place. She loved it! This is a woman who never needed any help from anyone. She was completely independent all her life. She raised me and my three brothers while my dad was out working to provide for our family. My dad became ill at the age of 39 with his heart and she had to return to work. She worked, looked after me and my brothers and took care of my dad.

She enjoyed her day pass, but we had to go back, she didn't want to. A few days later they sent her home. Sadly she got weaker and was very sick and only spent 4 days at my brothers. She was admitted to the Palliative care unit on October 22nd. She died 5 days later. I was with her. I will never forget that moment when she took her last breathe. I laid my head on her arm for probably a half an hour or more. It was very peaceful. She didn't want to go. After we found out she had cancer she said to me " I thought I was going to live to 100 " I thought that too. My mother gave so much of herself all her life. She never needed help from anyone ever! She was the strongest woman I have ever known. She was the best mother you could ever ask for and she loved her kids so much. She cherished her grandchildren. I still feel so empty without her, she was my best friend. She asked me to make sure she didn't die in pain, and I kept my promise. She deserved to die with dignity. It was very peaceful. She took a big breathe and stopped, but when I started crying she tried really hard to take another one and then she was gone. I will never forget that moment for as long as I live, but I am so glad I was with her. I miss her more than words could ever explain. She was a beautiful person, inside and out and I feel so lucky to have had her as my mother. I love you mom. Until we meet again. xoxoxo